Hi, if you have been reading, I hope you enjoyed my postings..
Honestly, I must say I had an eventful teenage life. Even though the journey was restricted and barred, I managed to slip away now and then to experience the adventure to enable me to reminisce and write about it now.
I went through a difficult process getting across my parents from communication breakdown. The gap was apparent even between my sister and brother. I discovered many things out of my own inquisitiveness. Let’s just say I learnt about life through trials and errors. Despite the trials and the errors, I didn’t have to experience life as dramatic as some others and I must acknowledge that I turned out into a better person from what I had gone through.
From the era and times that I came about, I must honestly say, I was quite a rebel; in a gentle way that is. I was always barking about trivial issues. I went through a phase of identity crisis, insecurities, inferiority complex, low self esteem, peer pressure, everything put together.
Let me begin this chapter about my discovery on the Birds & the Bees….
I had my first experience of boys when I was in St. Anne’s Kindergarten. My first crush was my senior. His name was Hafiz. He was such a gentleman as I remember it. We became friends when he braved himself to come up to me only to say, “Hi! My name is Hafiz. Can I have your telephone number ?” So what the heck, I gave it to him. I didn’t expect it but when I got home, he called. So this was the beginning of our telephone chats which led to him asking “Will you be my girlfriend?”! Okay…… so we became boyfriend and girlfriend. This was the memorable part of my childhood; innocent and exciting. It didn’t get anywhere, our friendship that is, because as we left kindergarten into primary, we lost contact. We only found each other later…..
Anyway, like I said, I was inquisitive about the Human Anatomy and Reproduction. Quite persistently, I threw a load of questions for the teachers on these issues. They just didn’t give me the right answers. Mum always told me never to sit too close to a boy. They can give you shingles and if they touch you, you can grow big breasts. Just the mere smell of them will actually make you pregnant let alone hold their hands?????!!!!! Mum was either paranoid or stark raving over-protective !
As it happened, I was to ride the school bus. Can’t recall when but this was the start of my experience with boys ! Never really interest me to get all excited with their presence but given the inhibitions and constant reminders of mum’s warnings, I usually preferred to stay away from them. Our Pakcik Bas Sekolah was always careful not to mix us in his daily schedule. He would somewhat consistently pick us girls, send us home and then do his rounds for the boys. Fate has it that one day, he was running late. Before sending some of the girls which included me, he had to swing by a co-ed school in Jalan Gasing. This was the first time, Norman Nordin rode with us. Pakcik was careful to only let him sit in front with him and not mix him with the girls. It didn’t stop him from teasing us. He was like a monkey on the front seat against the bars separating the other back seats always checking out the girls. He didn’t make it any better if he knew that you were a new addition to the school bus charter. You would be his best target for the day.
I was the shy, quiet, reserved nerd. I would always avoid his gaze and flirting advances but I must admit, I couldn’t resist feeling a wee bit flattered, so I was looking forward to the times he would be in the bus with us. You know, he took advantage of this. He would notice whatever it is that you were holding. If it were even just a half filled plastic of coke that you drank for rest period 3 hours ago, he would seductively plead to you to have a sip !!! I would just get stoned over and by the time I reach home I could have just as well transformed into a statue. Once Norman actually slipped to the back and sat with us! He purposely sat next to me and God I was petrified! The nerve of him really, because he not only put me through a tumultuous feeling of uncontrolled panic from his flirtatious teasing, he actually HELD MY HAND !!!!
By the time, I got down the bus when I reached home, can you imagine how I was. I headed straight into the bathroom, reached out for the antiseptic cleanser and scrubbed both my hands. I took a bath with Dettol and stayed in the bedroom waiting to feel any signs of nausea. For the next few days, I kept checking my abdomen or any signs of fetal movements. Hahahahah, yes, the mum’s warnings actually registered. I was really an idiot !
Many episodes after this, we became friends. We used to chat on the telephone and that became of nothing. There was no news of him till today.
My next episode would be discussed in a special chapter because the journey I took in the episodes from my life after falling in love again since Hafiz is very significant and relative to my adult years and whatever transpired later…
Keep reading..
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