I felt it in my bones to record this whilst I had the words to express..
I have been singing seriously since the hay-days of Ray Fabee & Brothers & Soul. I was mostly in the R&B Jazz genre circle, followed as an observer and audience whenever Razak had jammed sessions at functions where Blues Gang, Po-E, Lord or Search was playing; never quite mingled with the fraternity. Honestly, I felt a little inferior if you might say so.
Last night, Sunday 17th July 2011, both Razak and I were invited to perform with Junk Secret (on a serious note, I don’t know why the band was called such), Dr Faza Yakin, Dino & Arab for yesterday’s Red Rooster Club Reunion. I was privileged to be given a slot to deliver one song. I must say, it was a historical and meaningful event for me. I have been invited for many such appearance, not even comparable to the opening act I did at Laura Fygi,’s concert sometime ago, but believe me, I was indeed astoundingly honored to be a part of this congregation and mini concert.
Perhaps it is my reserved and formal upbringing. Perhaps it is also because I am in between the corporate and music world that I exude the aura of arrogance (I must admit). Perhaps it is because I don’t indulge in the pleasures of the normal musician save for my fierce passion about music. I don’t know.. I really feel I don’t fit. They don’t seem to give their consent in accepting me. Even the crowd seemed estranged and couldn’t feel my existence. As the night unfolds, the crowd streamed in, in trifolds and I became a total nervous wreck to top off my feelings of not being accepted and crowded with inhibitions.
But….
The moment I was announced to step up the stage, I could sense a short pause of minute silence as though everyone was saying, hey, could this be a grave mistake ?! Did the MC announced correctly ?
As Razak gave the intro, I became, as usual, lovestruck as he had initially Killed Me With His Song a long time ago, and I just gave in to my feelings and rendered my song the way I knew how. It felt as though I was pouring out my guts into the audience. It was the music from my heart and from my soul. The melody just flew out like waves flowing into the shores from the ocean. I couldn’t make out anyone from the stage. It was like I was singing to myself.
Suddenly the camera shutters went crazy and I couldn’t make out what was happening in front of me. Whatever it is, it felt good. As I concluded my last verse giving a satisfied climax to my song, I heard the applause. So, I am not that discounted in my ability or talent. Thanks to all ..
As I descended from the stage, and disappeared into the crowd., yet again, I became the invisible component of the congregation.
Nevertheless I felt satisfied that I have contributed my sincere musical expressions to the cause of the Red Rooster Club Reunion. More importantly, Razak was not disappointed, embarrassed or unhappy.
The performances showcased throughout the night cannot be singled and appraised as one being better than the other, because all of them were simply articulate and original in their forms and presentation.
Being an inaugural revive of the TRRC Reunion, I am very sure that the next event will be even more glamorous and guaranteed worth waiting for with more surprises and participation from the local music performers and artistes.
I would look it up and wait anxiously for the next flight to TRRC Reunion.
Just my 2 sen
Tita Razak
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